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Navigating Men's Anger in a Changing World


Anger is normal emotion, but men sometimes express anger in unhealthy ways. When I was growing up, anger was not an acceptable emotion for me to express around my father. I believe he found it disrespectful, so I repressed my anger like many men. It acts like a ticking time bomb that when triggered releases inappropriately in the form of yelling, using profanity, breaking things and physical abuse.

Men’s Anger Management Issues Can Lead to:

  • Domestic violence

  • Suicide, which is the turning of anger on oneself

  • Loss of relationships and jobs

The definition of abuse is; anytime you create fear in someone because of your words and/or actions. When I was teaching court ordered domestic violence groups for men some of the things I realized was men in these groups:

  • Learned their expression of anger from their father’s or from other men in their lives.

  • Were abused themselves.

  • Their anger masked other underlying emotions such as; sadness, fear, loneliness, and depression.

What can Men do to Deal with Anger Management Issues:

  • Talk to a trusted person or a trained therapist to learn coping mechanisms and deal with underlying emotions.

  • When you're in a situation where you find your anger building, remove yourself from that situation, take a walk, a timeout.

  • While you're taking a timeout avoid talking yourself up by using self talk and thoughts to escalate your anger but instead talk and calm yourself down.

  • Engage in relaxation techniques such as; visualization, meditation, breathing techniques.

The Steps Leading to Change Include:

  • Acknowledge that you need to make some changes.

  • Ask for help. So that you can learn strategies and coping mechanisms in dealing with your anger.

  • Take action. “To know and not to do, is not to know.” Implement your strategies and coping mechanism.

Understanding and addressing your anger is a vital step toward fostering healthier relationships, promoting emotional well-being, and reducing the negative impact of uncontrolled anger on you and those around you. By improving your communication skills, self-awareness, and seeking support, you can channel your emotions constructively and build a more compassionate and balanced life. You can break the cycle of anger and aggression, replacing it with empathy, understanding, and personal growth.

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